I’m on hour 16 right now.  Of work.  No shooting, no proofing, nothing creative.  Therefore it = work.  I wish I could shoot more and spend a lot less time doing the mundane things that being a photographer and business owner also brings to the table (especially during busy season).  16 hours today of sorting, deleting, replying to emails, uploading, downloading, archiving, burning disks, assembling albums, packaging orders, emailing the lab, counting prints, drafting invoices….all the things I must do, to get to do what I want to do…shoot, talk to my clients.  I needed a catch up day, and today was it.  It always make me laugh a little when I hear people say they want to be a photographer because they love taking photos.  Not because I”m mean, just because taking the photos is actually what I spend the least amount of time doing!  Funny how that works huh?  In years past, it was me who ran this business.  Of course Jase was supportive, helping in ways that allowed me to do what I needed to do, chasing kids, fixing meals, giving me time to work.  But this year, the business has grown by leaps and bounds and he’s taken on a much bigger role.  Handing the finances, invoicing, taxes, even some packaging and he can assemble a mean, clean album like nobody’s business.  And I am thankful.  For the help.  The support.  Without him, I couldn’t live my dream.  I would sink.  And give up.  And be so, so unhappy without the creative outlet.  There are days that I get happy emails, from clients, from other photographers, from someone who came across my blog and it spoke to them, and I try to remember to bring those shared words and expressions to Jason too.  Because he is invested.  Not only in me, in us, but in this business.  Our business.

And in the middle of this long, mundane, yet productive day….A happy email arrived.  From my dear friend Sara, who took our family photos this weekend.  I can’t even express how much I love this.  It’s us.  It’s me wrapped up in him.  Right where everything feels right.

b2

Our anniversary is just around the corner next week.  Five years.  Five loving, crazy, productive, tragic, chaotic, amazing years.  Two cities and states, one hurricane, two more children, two businesses for me, two jobs for him, a million chaotic little details that make up life and “us”.  Without a doubt I love him more than I did the day we married on the beach in Hawaii, almost 5 years ago.  He’s my life.  Without him, nothing else works or even comes close to making sense.

Thank you Sara for capturing us.  And thank you to Katie, who did my makeup and helped me to feel like a pretty girl for the first time in a very, very long time.