I’ve been getting headaches for a few weeks.  They have progressively gotten worse and worse and it was to the point where I could barely see my computer screen to edit without really squinting.  My rx always changes with each pregnancy and each baby, so I just figured my eyes were finding a new normal now that my hormones are leveling out from having Teagan last year.  And since Taryn is off having fun with Lily on this Friday ((aka fun friend friday is what they call it)), I made an appointment for this morning.  Teagan and I head off, and they give me the option to either have a retinal scan or be dilated.  The cost for the scan is only $30 so I go for it, I don’t like getting my eyes dilated at all.  I’ll happily fork over that 30 bucks.  The tech put me in place and then handed me the button to snap the scan as I looked into the light, right up my alley, I can take a pic!  But when I did, everything got really quiet in the room.  Then the other eye, quiet again.  I immediately asked her about the dark spots I was seeing pop up on the screen and again, quiet.  Turns out, I have a hole in my retina.  Actually, I have two bad areas, one in each eye, but the left one has a significant sized hole.  Thankfully at this point, it isn’t causing blind areas or spots in my vision, but it is the reason everything is fuzzy, well, more fuzzy than normal.  Even with a new rx, the left eye won’t be 20/20, they cannot correct what is not there I suppose.  We will watch the areas closely over the coming months to see how they change and if they grow in size and go from there.  Hopefully, surgery will not be necessary.  Hopefully, it will all stay exactly the way it is now.  I could live with that.  I’m good now, I can see.  What I cannot live with is the idea of not being able to see the world around me.  My husband.  My children.  All of their moments.  My work…..it’s my passion, I rely on my eyes.  What I see is how I create.  The thought of losing that makes me feel like I can’t even breath.