I was looking for a photo the other day and totally got lost in my blogging from 4 years ago when Teagan was a baby. It hit me hard, this place is no longer about our day to day, chronicles of mom turned photog, being open and honest about daily life. The hard stuff, the struggles, the mommy moments of insanity, and the good stuff, the million beautiful moments all tucked in between. Why and when did that change? I’ve been thinking about that a lot and I think there are a lot of different answers. Work got busier, family got busier, it’s easier to post something quick to facebook than to blog, Teagan got sick and we moved all things related to that over to Finding Our New Normal, I started a 365 blog. Yeah, there are a lot of reasons for the decline in sharing here. It hit me, when I posted all the time here, I felt like I was pretty comfortable with who I was then. So much has changed about our lives and about our family since Teagan’s vaccine injury, that I just tend to fear being judged for it all. Maybe that’s because we were judged so harshly by some of those closest to us right after it happened. But you know what, I love who we have become. I’m proud of us. I proud of how we live, how we eat, how we teach, how we continue to grow and change, I’m just proud of us. And even though we aren’t quite so “mainstream” anymore, that’s ok. Not everyone has to like us, or agree with us or do what we do, we’d never expect that. But I’ve always believed that when you share who you are with people, it will bless you beyond measure. It was sharing here on this blog that helped Marti come in to our lives to help Teagan. Talk about a life changing blessing. Sharing is good. So even if I get a little nervous about sharing the new us sometimes on this blog, vs. Finding Our New Normal, I still should do it, because it’s us and it is real.
The more I think about it, the more it bothers me. I LOVED going through those posts from when Teagan was itty bitty. They made my heart smile so incredibly big and I’m amazed at how many things I’d forgotten that my heart needed to remember. And for the last few years, as this went from a daily blog to a much, much less than daily blog, I’m going to be missing those posts that were never written as time marches on. Do you think the ease of sharing on facebook and twitter is killing blogs? The thought of that makes me sad. I value those old posts so much, I don’t want to look back with regrets.
With a new baby coming, homeschooling, a crazy work schedule, all the time I spend in the kitchen and time in general at a premium, I think I need to do some rearranging. I think I need to simplify. Maybe Less time online in random places, simplify it, condense it, value it. Maybe move my 365 snapshot images over here where they belong from here on out.
More time here. That’s what I’m thinking.