So many moments run through my mind….I put together a slideshow of just a few.

To my sweet Teagan,

Today is your first birthday, and I am mixed with feelings ranging from sadness that this first year has gone by so fast, each moment more fleeting than the next, all the way to excitement for the person we have come to know and the second year that stands before us.  You came in to this world with a family full of love just waiting for you.  It still brings tears to my eyes to think that a mere few hours after you arrived, we almost lost you.  Your dad and I held on tight, to one another, to you.  All I knew is that I needed to love you every moment, no matter how many moments we’d have together.  The nurses had to kick us out of the NICU for shift changes because we refused to leave your side.  When we brought you home, our worry continued.  We have worried about your health for the better part of the last year, yet you continue to show us that you are resilient and strong.  You are the most laid back of our children, the most quiet, the most patient.  You smile with your eyes a split second before it travels down to your mouth.  You’ve always been a grunter.  And a cuddler.  Anyone who has ever met you has used the word “sweet” before parting ways.  I love the way you cackle when you laugh, give big open mouth kisses without being asked, especially when you give one to Ty after he has been out playing, it always results in you spitting immediately after the kiss and we all laugh.  I love the way you smile when someone says “Ty”, even if he isn’t anywhere to be seen.  You have become a blankie boy and I love that so much.  You cuddle your face to it, carry it with you around the house and keep it within eyesight when you venture off.  Your hair, oh sweet boy, what a crazy ride it’s been.  You were born with beautiful dark hair, then you impersonated George Costanza and then one day a little strip of fuzz on top arrived, out of nowhere.  The mohawk is just so you, a juxtaposition, sweet baby, rock star hair.  I am sad it is growing out and never ever thought I would consider having my 1 year old’s hair cut in to a mohawk, but I am.  There are so many first memories of this year, and I am proud that I cherished each one.  I lived those moments with my whole heart, you see, we lost many of those with Taryn because of Hurricane Katrina, but I’m so thankful I got to cherish them deeper with you as a result.  I can’t have hers back, but I enjoyed yours more because I knew what it was to miss them.  You in your swing, 2 am feedings, I’ve never begrudged one.  Even through all the struggles and supply issues and problems nursing, we made it through the first year and I am so proud of both of us.  We will wean when you are ready.  Solids for the first time fed to you by Ty.  You are greedy, you love food, you love to nurse.  Dealing with Taryn’s jealousy and watch you be the patient one, loving her through it.  You have a love affair with my camera, that I not so secretly love.  There are so many images of your first year that I’ve looked at and cherished, and so many more that sit in a folder that I won’t even look at until you are much older, because I am too busy loving you and enjoying those moments to fool with them.  That folder full of images will be my indulgence when you are grown, I will get to revisit you and this time.  So many changes, from rolling to scooting, crawling and now on the verge of walking.  You are a dancing machine, a waver and just recently, a clapper.  Watching you kick your feet wildly when daddy walks in to the room.  I love how you cuddle and snuggle with anyone willing to give you one, you don’t play favorites, you just want to love and be loved.  I still can’t believe you are one, but here it is.  Happy Birthday sweet baby, I can’t wait to see what the next year holds.

Love, Mommy