I disconnected yesterday. Not because our internet was out, I needed to disconnect so that I could re-connect. There are times I feel like I’m burning both ends of the candle. Days where I feel like I can’t excel at anything because I’m too busy trying to do the next thing. Every aspect of my life gets little pieces of me, but none of them get all of me, the best part of me….most days I feel like I just move from one task to the next. I don’t want my life to be one big to do list. I miss the spontaneous moments with my kids. I miss taking off for the afternoon or morning, without even thinking about work. I miss doing nothing with them. I miss being with them without my mind being pulled in another “what else needs to get done for work” direction. I miss just photographing them for no reason, just because. I miss not having to be plugged in….to my laptop, to the tv, to my phone, all the little things in our day that don’t seem like much, but when you add up 10 minutes here and there to check my mail, a few phone calls, updating my site / blog, reading other peoples blogs, checking in on a few photography forums, it adds up to much more time than I would like to admit. My word for 2009 is “simplify”. I’ve chosen to cut out a few areas of my life, all good decisions for me, for my family, because it makes things simpler for us. I have more time on my hands for my family and for my business as a result. I’ve tried to ask myself with every decision we make, be it for our family or for our business, will it make things simple? Running a successful photography business is tough. It is a lot of work. A lot of hours behind the scenes. We, as in my entire family, make a lot of sacrifices so that I can do this. Actual shooting time is probably the thing that I spend the least amount of time doing. Editing, ideas, plans, to do lists are always running through my mind and it was while reading Jodies blog a few nights ago, I realized I’m not alone. Jodie and I emailed back and forth a bit and decided to disconnect. I would love nothing more than to shut off the computer, tv, cellphone, etc. during the day when the kids are awake. I would love to only work when they are asleep. But it’s tough! It’s so hard to disconnect when your biz and livelihood that we depend on to help pay the bills revolves around being connected, checking email, updating the blog, finding that new vendor or brainstorming ideas with a client. I had a blast with them yesterday ((and I extended it to a lot of the day today)). We did craft projects, we colored, we layed on the floor and played, we read books, we cooked. That’s not to say we don’t always do these things, we do, but it’s never without interruptions. 10 minutes here to check email, just a quick jump on to my computer to email that portrait agreement, a quick trip to the post office to ship that album. Our days are always filled with biz distractions and it was nice to have a day off. I did cheat twice ((and feel slightly less guilty doing so since Jodie did too lol))….I needed to send a document to a client and I had to do a bit of proofing last night after everyone was asleep….but they didn’t know any better, and that is what mattered the most to me. They had ME. Undivided. And it was awesome. I will be taking some more time off in a few weeks, as Teagan will be having a minor surgery. But I’m going to need my family to have my undivided attention during that time, but I’m not sure just when that will be as of yet. We will find out more on Thursday. Overall, I feel more centered and capable of finding a balance. At least for the moment. I will do better. For them. For me. And for my business. I want to give every part my all, instead of little parts divided to everything and everyone throughout the day. I just need to simplify.
Of course I now have a very full email inbox ((178 new messages!! Holy crap I didn’t realize how many I get in a day, and that is not counting the spam! Yikes! I’m getting to them one by one!))
Right on, sista. I can totally relate. We need to start a National Photog Mom Holiday.
thank you for sharing this. very inspiring, something i felt, but had not formed into thoughts. THANKS for your candidness.
Hey Lyndsay, I first want to thank you for responding to my email last night because that helped me a TON in deciding what I needed to do with my camera situation. A ton, so thank you for your time.
And as for the content of your post, I struggle with all of the same stuff. When I started the year off my word for the year was “balance” – I need to find balance between my family, work and my home. I’m still not there. I had a couple ideas of how to work towards this goal and I’m sad to say I have only made small efforts and they just aren’t enough. My kids are on the brink of their school years (Emma starts K in the fall and Ethan will start preschool) and I know that I can’t let this precious time go.
Erin Cobb just posted about making an effort to not work on Sundays, including not getting on the computer or doing anything else work-related and that sounded so good to me. But it would be hard because the weekends are my session days.
Thanks for sharing in this post. Thanks for letting me know I am not alone and its hard for my other photographer friends as well. Thanks for the idea to “disconnect” because that may be something I need to give a try.
couldn’t agree more lyndsay. having a family, you often find yourself spread so freakishly thin…in an attempt to be all things to all people. it’s tough.
i’m growing a photography business, working a full time job, married with a 19 month old daughter…and my wife is 11 weeks pregnant 🙂
it seems when life is at it’s fullest, we find ways to accomodate the grow — we reach deep– we simplify and somehow, make it work:) it’s what parents do. it’s what passionate people do. a lifetime juggling act.
glad you were able to spend some quality time. i recently cut the twitter cord….to join the real world. there’s something to say about being disconnected. i think it’s the new, up and coming thing 🙂
cheers…
I too struggle with this. I only have one child though, and a full time job. She is in daycare and that does help, but I still feel guilty because most of my sessions are on the weekends and I spend every free moment I have answering emails and editing. My to-do list never gets done.
I have had to cut back on the number of sessions that I can do in a month because it’s just too much of a burden on my family and it’s hard to sacrifice that time with them.
Good luck finding your balance and I hope Teagan’s surgery goes well!
I intend to only work while they are sleeping too… Doesn’t always work out that way… totally get what you’re saying here! We had a scheduled power outage today from 9 until 2pm so I was forced to unplug. It was quite refreshing. (Except for that evil red blinking light on my blackberry that is SO distracting 😉 ~Amy
I can’t tell you how much these words ring true for me. Every single sentence. I feel the same way, pulled in a million different directions. Always giving more than 100% to life but never giving any one thing my whole 100% at once. Burning the candle at both ends, indeed.
Thank you so much for writing this. It’s reassuring as a new mom and a newer professional photog to see that someone so talented and successul AND an amazing mother feels this way. You handle it all so well and some days I think to myself how does she DO it?!
My prayers are with Teagan.
Honestly, I have been feeling the EXACT same way lately. We recently found out some not so great news about J and it has greatly affected the way I feel about spending time away from my family. I totally understand how a few minutes here and there to check on something can turn into hours. It’s so great that you decided to disconnect for your family. I know you’ve gotten great advice from Jodie, so continue to do what’s best for your family. I always say, God first, family second, and then your job. I’ll keep you in my prayers.
Also, since I see that you are already overwhelmed with emails, I just leave mine here… I love the new site and LOVED seeing Jayden’s sweet pictures on there. Brought me down memory lane :)Thanks for including him in your portfolio.
Lyndsay,
I came over here from Jodie’s site. I am so envious (in a fantastically good way!) because you and Jodie have found your niche in life. Being able to incorporate your love of photography and life with your family takes such determination sprinkled with a little bit of insanity! I love your work. Capturing the first second in this world, the first breath all the way through life is unbelievably wonderful. I’m sorry it took a natural tragedy for it all to come together for you, but sometimes, that is what it takes.
Thank you for sharing and I’m adding you to my favorites!
Peggy Jones
TOTALLY with ya! I was thinking to unplug all next week for spring break actually. Lay around in pj’s with the kids, pop popcorn and who cares if we are eating for breakfast sort of stuff!
I love that you and Jodie did this together.
Maybe it can be a photog across the board thing?
🙂 bridget
Oh, SO have been there! Long time blog stalker, first time commenter. Congrats for taking a day!! Very deserving…take many, many more. BTW, I love, LOVE what you do…so much inspiration for so many. We all thank you!
Good for you. I tell myself all the time that I am going to do this, and I don’t. Good for you for doing it and meaning it. I am sure the kids had a blast just having 100% of YOU. I don’t want to look back either and feel like I missed the little moments and the everyday…..
Hey lyndsay. I have not even started my business yet, but I have already worried about what you have said. It might be really the best, to just take some time for yourself and your family. I believe, that anybody (your clients and blogreaders) will understand that.