It’s been 6 months of bilateral adhesive capsulitis and I’m still in pain every day. I haven’t slept laying down or even in bed in 5 months. My mental health has suffered, the depression is back (but my cPTSD recovery has held strong praise God!). Being stuck inside and mostly immobile has taken a toll. My stamina is gone. I miss our life of adventure and hiking and exploring so very much. I miss capturing our lives with my camera. It’s something I’ve done for 18 years. Two weeks ago I tried to pick it up to take pictures of Z for kindergarten graduation. I needed help. It resulted in A LOT of pain and more than a few tears. Yesterday I picked it up again for Taryns birthday and it was a tiny bit easier. Painful, short, just a few shots and I’m paying for it today, but the slightest bit easier. I decided when I woke up this morning to put my camera where I can see it. And then I decided that I’ll make an effort to pick it up at least once every day and bring it to my face. I lack muscle strength and range of motion, so this small task seems simple but it’s a lot. I am so afraid I will drop it, so I put the lightest lens I own on. Just once a day. And maybe it’ll build stamina to do it more often. As someone who has been unkind to my body almost my whole life, it’s hard for me to navigate the important balance of rest and healing vs pushing through the pain. I default to pushing through and it has rarely benefited me. Baby steps. You know, for years I did a photo project called 365. One photo a day of everyday life and it resulted in some of my most treasured photographs. Maybe I should start that again. A new project 365?  One photo a day, recovery edition??