Today.

Today is “Teagan is asthma free day”

And I want to shout it from the roof tops.

And dance.

And cry tears of joy.

And celebrate.

We kicked asthma’s ass.

All the way to the curb.

We sent something life threatening out of our house, away from our child.

He can breath.

All the time.  Not just sometimes.

He’s stronger.

His future is brighter.

His parents worry less.

No more panic.

No more coughing fits in the middle of the night.

No more steamy showers to open his airways.

No more avoiding triggers.

And we no longer deal with breathing treatments.

Or co-pays.

Or the ER, urgent care, countless doctor visits.

We will soon run errands without a rescue inhaler.

We will unplug the nebulizer and remove it from our living room.

And just now, I trashed the crap we’ve had to fill him with for over a year.

And that felt freaking awesome.

No more turning gray.

No more struggling to breath.

No more puffers.

No more preventative.

No more steriods.

No more damage to his body from asthma.

We healed him.

And that is huge.

2010-10-15T11:43:03-05:00October 15th, 2010|My Family|

10 on Tuesday

1.  I woke up to a rude awakening of toddlers yelling directly into the monitor over who called who stupid at 5:03 am.  Maybe room sharing was a total dream…..sigh.  For the record, it was the duder.  We’re working on ridding his vocabulary of the word “doo-pid” and it makes me crazy.  I don’t like that word at all.  It went something like this:

Taryn:  MAAAAAWWWWM!  Teagan called me stupid!!
Teagan:  No I didn’t!
Taryn:  Yes you did Teagan!
Teagan:  No I didn’t!  Doo-Pid.

5:03 am.  Sigh.

2.  I made homemade, from scratch, banana bread on Monday with the kids only to leave it in the oven too long and burn it.  It smelled soooooo good.  And it was in the shape of little pumpkins.  Total bummer.

3.  Duder ran up to me when I got home from errands this afternoon with a big “I miss you SO SO much mommy!”  God, I love him.  Being able to talk again rocks.

4.  Had Taryn’s parent / teacher conference today.  I adore her teacher, absolutely adore her.  She gets Taryn.  Taryn is complicated, fabulous, yet complicated, so I really love that her teacher gets her.

5.  I really want to make these cute little guys.  And maybe a robot or two.  Duder likes robots.

6.  I also want to make these.  My kids love bubble wrap.

7.  And especially this.

8.  Last year Jase did all kinds of fun fall crafts with the kids.  I keep hoping he’ll pick that up again this year.  They did some cool stuff last year!

9.  I’m kind of bummed about the kids Halloween costumes this year….they are just so….typical.  Oh well, gone are the days I got to choose I suppose.  I wish we could do a family theme but I gave up on that idea when it was suggested I go as Little Bo Peep.  Not a chance.  Although…..if I agreed to it I would get to see my husband dressed up as Rex the dinosaur and run around saying “I don’t like confrontations!” and “my little arms” and “rhhhhaaarrrrr….were you scared?!”

10.  This totally cracks me up, I love it.  There might be one tucked away in my house somewhere.  And I might even share it with one of the children on Halloween.  Might being the keyword.  Cause I might keep it to myself too.  I think it makes the perfect grab bag for treats or little trinkets at the end of a session.  Much, much better than the brown paper bag I’ve been using!

Happy Tuesday!

2010-10-11T23:10:11-05:00October 11th, 2010|My Family|

sleep over

These two have been inseperable here lately.  I love it.  It makes my mommy heart sing.  We’ve earned that the hard way.  Taryn genuinely wants to be with him all the time, play with him, love him.  I can’t blame her one bit.  Anyway, these two have been asking for weeks if they could have a “sleep over” together.  Tonight turned out to be the perfect night for it…no school tomorrow, I don’t have a session at the crack of dawn, no one has to get up early (although they probably still will…sigh) and Ty is staying the night with a buddy which means they won’t wake him up if they get the giggles.  Of course Taryn promptly kicked me out before I even shut the book on the last page of the bedtime story.  Duder wanted me to stay and snuggle a bit.  But I did eventually leave them on their own to laugh and talk in the dark.  Something about that makes my heart swell and think about what a gift it is to have a sibling.  I thought for sure it would be Taryn to be the one misbehaving, but it was Teagan I heard over the monitor saying “don’t tell moooooommy!”  I was shocked, duder?!?!  And Taryn was snoring just a few minutes later.  I thought duder was asleep too until Jase and I heard the very sudden, and very loud “CHA-CHING” of the toy cash register over and over again.  He’s now asleep though snuggled up right next to his big sister.  It makes my heart melt.

Now I’m off to daydream about them sharing a room and me having my own office.  Hey, a girl can dream….at least until the 5 am wakeup call comes shrieking over the monitor with double trouble….

2010-10-10T20:00:41-05:00October 10th, 2010|Austin Photographer, My Family|

my girl

I had the morning off today and since the kids woke up pre crack of dawn (yuck!), I decided to take T out for a little sunrise session.  I desperately wanted to photograph her in front of the purple flowers again that show up in our neighborhood every fall.  But last year, she was just so sick.  We were dealing with bout after bout of strep and couldn’t keep her well, not to mention the fact that she broke her arm.  She had surgery to remove her adenoids and tonsils along with a lot of scar tissue last mid-October and it took weeks for her to recover.  Fall was tough.  But this fall, this fall, we are embracing every.single.second of healthy children.  I’ve had this tutu and the images in my mind for over a year….

Our girl has turned a corner.  One we are thrilled with.  Her brother being sick this summer, and all the changes that brought to our family, has changed her in a huge way.  Many of the things that have helped him, have helped her too.  We haven’t talked a lot about it yet.  We will.  But until then, she looks good.  Really good.  She’s healthier than she’s ever been.  Pain we never even knew she had is totally gone.  She’s gaining weight and growing and eating like never before and we’re thrilled.  She’s calm and less fearful, less defiant and less moody, more patient.  She’s independent and confident.  She’s tackled her fears in a huge way (well, all but one and we’re working on it!).  I feel like she’s arrived, as her true self, ready to adequately cope and prosper and take on the world.  She’s still my spunky little sweet T, she’s just even better, healthier, happier.

2010-10-09T12:03:04-05:00October 9th, 2010|My Family|

finding our new normal

I honestly never thought there would be a day that this blog wouldn’t be the only blog I’d ever want and need.  I’ve always poured my heart and our life and days into it along with my business.  I’ve never regretted that, not once.  I am who I am and I’ve been blessed immensely by blogging.  I’ve met wonderful people, made lifelong friends, laughed, cried, documented, shared, and carved out my little space of the web for the sake of my children, my husband and myself.  Why?  So that we can remember.

And then Teagan got sick.  And our days were painful and long and we were in crisis mode.  And I couldn’t blog about it.  I hated that I couldn’t, but I couldn’t.  I refused to share him then, I wanted to protect him.  I wanted to protect myself from saying he was doing a little better only to have to explain it and say he wasn’t again.  It was a matter of self preservation.  After almost 4 months, we are finally able to breath again.  We’ve thought a lot about what we would share or even if we would, how to share it, what to say, the legal aspects we needed to consider.  And it came down to this:  our son was saved by a blog reader.  Her name is Marti and she not only set us on a path to healing, she traveled that journey with us.  She held our hands, she helped heal him.  She made him physically stronger than he’s ever been, she’s an OT and worked with him for months.  Many times late at night, trying to find a way to squeeze in one more OT session, one more hour with him because just maybe it would help.  But she didn’t stop there, she hunted with us for the right doctors, she showed up to appointments to stomp her feet along side with us, she helped us with supplements and natural healing, I like to call her his personal advocate.  Her husband calls her the bulldog because she doesn’t give up.  Thank God for that.  Without her, without blogging, we’d be in a dark place. How do you thank someone for saving your child?  Saying it certainly isn’t enough.  We do say it.  A lot.  But what else can we do?  We pay it forward and use our voice.

Jason and I put a lot of thought into how to share and what to share.  We have decided to start another blog and blog together.  Whoa, I know right, blogging with my husband, it makes me a little nervous and excited to drag him into the blogging world because it’s always been *my* thing around here.  But he’s totally into it and I can’t wait.  It may not make a lot of sense as to why we need another blog and why we can’t just tell the story of what happened here and then move on and go back to our normal lives.  Or why we even need to tell the story at all.  And that’s the thing, we have a new normal, our lives are forever changed in many ways.  We have already written about what happened to him and his diagnosis.  We’ve been thrust, somewhat unwillingly, into drastic changes in finding a healthier, less toxic, way of life from everything to the food we eat, how we cook it, supplements we take, how we clean our home, reducing environmental toxins around us like VOC’s and pesticides.  It is overwhelming every single day.  But we are making improvements, we are tackling them one by one.  Again, why not just do that here?  Because there are other moms and dads out there who are going through what we went through with Teagan.  They are desperately searching for answers, yet nothing fits.  They are googling symptoms and nothing fits.  I don’t want that lost here in stories of how Taryn fell asleep in a shopping cart, a 10 on Tuesday and the latest cutie I’ve photographed.  It needs a home of its own.  Will Teagan’s old pediatricians read it?  Yes, I’m sure they will.  I hope they do.  I hope they read every last word and visualize what Teagan went through.  While we do not write specifically about them and what they did, they know his history.  I hope they take it and educate themselves on what they missed so it never happens to another child in their practice again.  I hope they look themselves in the mirror and know they had a hand in his suffering and I hope they ask God for forgiveness for the mistakes they made over the last 2.5 years to enable them to experience personal and professional growth.  Will we be judged by others, family, friends, clients, for our choices?  Sure.  Will people decide not to hire me as their photographer because we combine natural and traditional medicine choices into our lives?  I don’t know, maybe, probably.  I’m ok with that, I am who I am and I won’t apologize for that.  I earned this place where I’m standing right now and I’m proud of it, it wasn’t an easy road to get to.  Will people judge us that we can no longer vaccinate Teagan?  I’m sure of it.  Those things are bound to happen.  They hurt, we’ve experienced it already, but this is where we are, this is the path God has chosen for us.  I’ve asked God many times over the last four months, what do you want us to do with this?

This is where we landed, Jason and I blogging together, coming out from the other side of healing our son, finding our new normal.

2010-09-26T08:41:35-05:00September 26th, 2010|Announcements, My Family|
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