It’s 2:09 am.

Ask me what we have been doing for the last 5 hours.

We have been trying to get the smell of SKUNK out of our house.  Yes, skunk.

Nasty.

Nasty can’t even begin to describe it.  For a germ-o-phobe like me, this is a complete nightmare.  You know that smell when you’re driving in your car and you know a skunk was nearby.  That is nothing compared to what we have.  Nothing.  It’s 10 million times worse.  It smells like horribly burnt garlic with a side of burnt rubber.  I was sitting in the living room proofing a few photos while Jason put Taryn down for the night.  I heard something bump into the back wall on our porch outside and then our dog yelped.  Totally not like her.  I jumped up out of my chair and fully expected to see a person standing back there trying to break into our house.  I didn’t see anything and I took one step towards the window to see if I could see the dog and then started yelling for Jason.  On the other side of the house reading Taryn a book he didn’t hear me.  I ran down the hall and he quickly jumped up and followed me.  At that point he looked out the window and then we smelled something.  I was in panic mode worried about our dog.  I just wanted to know she was ok, I was afraid she was hurt so I told Jason to let her in even though we thought there was a skunk out there.  Jase looked again and the skunk was still on the porch.  He looked at me and said “are you sure you want me to bring her in” and I said yes.  I had no idea what that would cause or the magnitude of the stench that would come inside with her.  But I wanted her to be ok, she’s a member of our family.  And hearing her yelp like that scared me.  The skunk got her right in the face.  We called an ER vet right away.  They told us to rinse her eyes out with saline solution and gave us a recipe to remove the stench from her coat.  I feel so bad for her 🙁

Oh my goodness, the stink.  Stink isn’t even a remotely close enough word to describe it.  It burns your nose, your throat, your stomach even.  Jase grabbed Kylie by the collar once he opened the door and took her straight to the garage.  Even that short 15 seconds in the house, did a ton of damage.  5 hours later, after cleaning, researching home remedies online, bathing the dog, bathing the dog, bathing the dog, mopping the floors, putting towels down in front of each child’s door, using Vic’s vapor rub on our noses, doing home chemistry experiments in a mop bucket, changing out the filters in the house, mopping some more, we put out dozens of bowls of coffee grounds and vinegar.  Ty even baked some coffee grounds covered in cinnamon at low heat with the oven door open.  Cough drops help get the putrid taste out of your mouth, even for just a few minutes

Honestly, I was ready to bail.  I called around looking for a hotel, convinced I would find one.  I didn’t.  Everyone is booked due to the hurricane.  While Alli and Mike were kind enough to offer to come over and help us tomorrow (with margarita machine in tow – now that’s a real friend), after 5 hours tonight, I so just want to call in a service to come do the rest for us.  I want the smell out of my furniture, my clothes, my skin, my whole freakin house.  Yeah, I’m kinda freaking out about this.

Stupid freakin skunk.