Can it be a flashback if I never shared it to begin with?
The other night, I had just gotten back from taking Ty’s birthday photos and Jase and I were digging through my archives of the kids and comparing how tall Ty has gotten since we moved to Austin. We got lost in the folders together, smiling, remembering with lots of “no way! look how little they were!?”. And we stumbled across this one….
The day this was taken, I didn’t blog it. Instead I blogged this. I never shared it because I thought I looked tired. I WAS tired. Teagan was 6 weeks old. Taryn was 2.5 years old and full of spirit. She’d decided that the sleepless newborn stage was the perfect time to potty train. Jase had walked through the door at the end of the day and found us like this. Exhausted, the 3 of us, Teagan sleeping in my arms in a breastmilk coma. He made a smartass comment about having my hands full, picked up the camera and took one shot. I kept it because I wanted to remember it, but never shared it. I thought I looked horrible, but now, that’s exactly what I love about it! I WAS tired. I was a milk machine to a 6 week old going through a growth spurt. I was frazzled from chasing a toddler who had been sick that week and just so thankful she was asleep, I didn’t even care that I was touched out from nursing every hour, she could sleep on me, just as long as she slept. That boppy, I should have named it, we spent so much time together. And my laptop, sitting on the edge of the couch, so me in those days. Entertainment while nursing, shoved to the side in order to cuddle. I was a mess then. So were they. I love that the exact reason I didn’t share it, is the reason I want to now. Everything about this image makes me love that time, it flew by fast.